I always like to go to the zoo.
It’s fun to see what the animals do.
But when you pass the Simian cage
Look out for any signs of rage
’cause you might get hit by some monkey poo!
Dave Thomas
4/22/2021
Month: April 2021
Are You Kidding?
Two percent milk?
Don’t make me laugh!
My Grape Nuts only
get Half-and-half!
Dave Thomas
4/22/2021
Preferences
A steak is fine
With a glass of wine
and you can have it if you please
But I would wish
for a more tasty dish
and will stick with mac and cheese.
Dave Thomas
4/20/2021
The Black Cat
The Black Cat (Reposted on April 15, 2021)
This one was probably 45 or 50 years ago, when the kids were young. We all liked
cats and had several of them. Also, it seemed that when anyone dumped a cat in
the neighborhood it ended up at our house.
One day, this young, black tomcat showed up. He had a beautiful, shiny, black
coat and a sunny disposition as well. He seemed very smart and loved to be held
and petted. We took him in and thought that since we already had too many cats
we should try to find a home for him.
Over the next few days we all enjoyed having this guy around but discovered that
when it was time for a bowel movement he would always do his job in the
fireplace rather than the litter box. We kept our eyes open and if any of us
spotted him heading for the fireplace we would grab him and deposit in the litter
box. We tried for several days to teach him, but it just wasn’t working. That
settled it, and we decided there was no way we could keep him. He had to go.
Soon after, Pat was at work and one of the men said that his wife and kids were
bugging him to get a kitten. Pat says “We’ve got a beautiful young male, only a
few months old that was dropped off in our neighborhood. He’s got a beautiful
black coat and loves kids and loves lots of attention.” Her co-worker says “he
sounds perfect and I’d like to have him.” So, the next day, Pat takes the cat to
work and gives him to the guy. A few days later, she sees the guy and asks him
how the cat is doing. “Oh”, he says, “he’s such a beautiful cat and we all just love
him!” Then, he says, “There is one thing…” Pat tries to look cool and unknowing as
she asks “What would that be?” “Well”, says the guy, “we can’t keep him from
crapping in the fireplace!”
Dave Thomas
7/13/2014
From The Older Guy
Don’t get me wrong. I love my doctors. They keep me patched up and able to enjoy life with my wife, Pat, and my kids, grand-kids, and great grand-kids. However, it is sometimes necessary to bring a few things to their attention. Here are a couple of those items:
The heaviest door you will ever encounter today (and the hardest one to open) will be the door to your doctor’s office. It doesn’t matter if you are old and disabled, or if you are on crutches, you may need some help.
And here’s another observation: If you can read the telephone numbers on your eye doctor’s business card or appointment card, you may not need the guy. Graphics designers, with the approval of your doctor, will put the phone number in the smallest type size possible. It may be just me, but I thought a person would be looking for an eye doctor’s phone number because they have a vision problem. I thought I had died and gone to heaven at the Fort Worth Retina Specialist’s office when I saw that the phone number on the business card was the biggest thing on the card, and I could read it
Dave Thomas
04/07/2021
crittersandcatsdotcom 